a new year

Well its been months, its a new year and to be honest nothing has changed. All my talk about wanting to achieve a great goal this year are somewhere back in the dark ages now. Depression, complacency and life are getting in the road. Today is a real feel sorry for myself day. Ive been a complete failure at the weight loss. I am doing the same as i have always done. Go great for the first couple of week, then just cant be bothered.

My head feels like a mouse on a continual running wheel. Its just going around and around in circles. Negative self talk, doubts about my ability to achieve anything and self loathing for being so weak.

Time to slap myself around the head and get back into it. Ive come to the realisation that i need to go back onto my happy pills. It sucks that im not strong enough to cope by myself, but the alternative is to live in a state of unhappiness and stress. Sometimes i just want to curl up in a ball and make the world just disappear.